Taking the work out of networking

I've just had great feedback from the most recent "Secrets to Successful Networking" course. We spent a day honing our story-telling, checking body language, understanding the basics of rapport and business etiquette and comparing notes on networking events, expectations and overall fears of attending official networking events. The best note was from a delegate who nervously stepped into the room, hovered at the doorway with her head down, fiddling with her long hair and clutching her left shoulder. "I came in scared of the day ahead and left with new-found confidence, excited about attending an event the following day". Her boss had told her to come on the course, knowing that she needed to contact with future business contacts and help raise funds and awareness of the charity's new plans. I could see within half a second of meeting her that this course was not something she'd chosen herself. So, it was gratifying to see her with her head held high, confidently shaking hands with everyone else on the course on the way out and being asked for her business card. From the moment I told everyone to take the "work" out of networking the whole mood lifted. There are no golden rules, no matter what they tell you. It's all about you feeling great about yourself, knowing that everybody else is in exactly the same position and that different ways of communicating are fascinating, rather than intimidating. I love networking - I do it all the time. It's about talking to people, passing the time of day, asking people about themselves and looking them in the eye. The best you ever feel about yourself is when people are genuinely interested in you, so SECRET NUMBER 1 is to make them feel great about their story, then they will ask you about yours. I can always tell if someone is politely listening while they get their own story geared up to blurt out - it's all in the eyes - that mid-distance semi-attentive stare is a real give-away, so if you find yourself doing it (or thinking about your story), keep looking from eye brow to eye brow of your fellow networker which gives them the subliminal signal that you're really listening, observing and showing interest. Give it a go - tell me how it goes.